I am going to express myself into writing… Things has been
tough. Work itself and now teaching career is adding on… Work itself mainly is
really hard. 1. Roles that im handling are really technical roles that no all
recruiters are doing. 2. Some personal issues at work, HR to HR related issues which
I am not allowed to disclose for some personal reasons.. 3. I have tasted some
feedback from my students…. Some good and some bad….. What I’ve learned today
requires an open mind and feel like crying while writing this… Or should I say
I am crying now. This week has been crazy – I have 17 open roles and how do I
close this? 4 Japanese open roles. Wow. And Finding Yoga in it is the restoring
plan….
I taught today and for some reason I was nervous again… Maybe it
was really normal to feel that way… I did power poses that can help me ease all
of the nerves. I am glad that my co-teachers supports even on facebook
messaging… So I started the class and I was really taking it slow as there was
a first timer… I felt calm and just doing my thing… In the middle of the class
2 walked out. This is my first time to encounter it I don’t know why but my
first time seemed okay and never left the room. Was it because of the heat? I
stayed with 36 degrees… But anyway I was focusing on who I have inside the hot
room.. I gave them long savasanas to rest… And after class a student spoke to
me giving a feedback – well I was hoping for a positive one but I got a
negative one the student said I was too slow and the momentum was on and off…. The student also mentioned about he was
expecting a lot of me because I was better last week… Tough thing…. Setting
expectations.. I am truly sorry about not meeting your expectations. I really
feel bad.. But I did my best. It’s so hard to speak infront and show poses
while you are talking.. And all I wanted to do is to help these people through
yoga… I am sorry if you guys didn’t like today ‘s class but I know I was doing
my thing…. Yes, thank you for the comments… It is just my 3rd time
teaching in public… Maybe I need more practice… Okay – Thankful for the
feedback at least I know where my students are coming from.. And 2 students
spoke to me – saying Thank you, I did well. And another came – Was it your
first time ? You still sound nervous…….. Thank you again.. Ill make it up to
you next week.
Real world is really tough. I spoke to a lot of people just
to let me understand the other side. I feel like – Was I the worse teacher
today? But I am thankful for my Co-Teachers for helping me uplift my spirit. A
friend also treated me for café and cake as work and this feeling is not a good
combination today.
My family asked me How was my class and I said…. It went
okay but I think I was not my day… I told them about students giving feedback and it’s a good thing
to hear their side – I realize I need to stay open with these and accept
criticisms… These things are the things that I need to show the world that I
can do it.. That I deserve this, to serve and share yoga.…. My dad said – “Find
your way… Show them what you have… SELF CONFIDENCE is the key, you know this.
You’ve been doing this.”
These mistakes will be a mark for improvement… One day I
will do better. I will prove you wrong…. And I will survive this. Claiming that
everything will be okay next week.
Thanking all the people who I spoke to today that I needed
comfort. We have rough days, bad days…. And eventually good days to come---
This is part of life… Up and downs…. Embracing it… Living with it and NOT
ALLOWING IT get into me. Another Day is ANOTHER CHANCE TO PROVE THEM WRONG.
You can do this Yogi.
You can nail this next time!
Thank you Lord for friends, co-teachers which I can talk to
easily.
Thank you for the gift of Family….
And Thank you Universe for listening….
Namaste.
