This weekend : I AM ABSENT. Really sad. I am sick. I was diagnosed with Viral Exanthem last Thursday.. It's like a family of measles and it's contagious through my cough so I need to rest.... Yes, rest!!!! One week bed rest.... more time to study for my dialogue. More time to relax not think of work. I've been stressed with work and how to study the teacher training dialogue at the same time. I guess God gave me some time to study... Thank you, Ill make out of this. Rest and Study.
A lot of realization from last weekend up to today let me share to you:
1. Memorizing my dialogue - I admit I am really not going in memorizing ever since I was in school because I learn through pictures, visuals... I guess I have to master the pose and it will really help. Writing down the words helps me now.... saying it a lot and aloud helps me also... But I am a very slow learner... Taking one step at a time... I have been down for the rest of the days memorizing because I felt really inferior among the rest of the group because I really don't know how to memorize.... Or find my own words. When it's my turn for my practice teach the words and letters fall apart..... But i have to overcome that. Negative vibes are not really allowed. Positive- Yes! So we move forward... shall we?
I thought of - Thinking that I cant do it and thinking that Im not good at it won't really help instead of I need to find a solution and work double time on how to work for this memorizing thing. Yoga is my passion and I just need to go back to the thought "Why do I want to teach?" Why? I always wanted to share what I have to the world, to my family, to my friends... to the people around me..... now Yoga is the key for love, joy and peace! I always wanted to help people who are having a hard time dealing with their own lives, getting out of the dark side, getting out of being depressed. I was there not too deep but I can assure that Yoga can help. I can help. This is a tool for change.
2. Stress - with work and yoga teacher training on the weekend ....... is not easy. I never thought this would be hard, difficult. Work has been really toxic for the past several days or a month now. We really lack FTEs and our team lead just left. We have new ones, the replacements just came in and they need to be trained for a full blast function. I think of a many things most of the time...... I really can't move if one task is not done then the other, then the other... then doing some tasks for another FTE. Geez how complicated is that..... Living far is also a factor... What i do is when i arrive home i study some lines and usually im tired.... result I can't even study the whole thing. God. SAVE. ME. Another thing I need to keep in mind is I need to finish 40 Hot A classes on or before April 6.... I am just on my 8th class. Goodness gracious! I pray to the heavens that i finish all of the required classes and of course to memorize all of my dialogue!! AMEN!
3. Weak Immune system - Since Ive been stressed, not having complete sleep...... Here I go - I am sick. :( A friend said: Honor your body, weak or strong. It was always said in Yoga : Listen to your body it is smarter than you. Been overworking my mind and body without knowing it. Was pushing into the limits which is so wrong. Lesson learned: Take care of your body... This is a sacred temple. Only once yours, only yours.
4. The main goal - IS TO BE A YOGA TEACHER. I can do this. I can do this. Very challenging journey.... God made me feel this way and God created the road to the Yoga Teacher dream very bumpy.... BECAUSE IT WILL BE WORTH IT!!!!!!!!
I thank all of my family, yoga teachers, friends who supported me all the way..... who is really there for my support group. You know who you are.
Have to study a lot cause need to catch up.
See you.
Namaste!
Love and Light,
Carz
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